Violent toddlers

Does the following ring a bell? You are reading a book, playing on the floor or are eating something delicious and then suddenly your child grabs at your face, pulls at your hair, hits or even bites? Of course the first question would be why, how to deal with it, and then – is it something you’ve done wrong because why would otherwise your toddler act like this?

I am just going through this phase with one of the little girls under my care. She pinches and scratches so hard that it sometimes even bleeds. Thanks to this I currently look like I have come back from a very prickly forest, all scratched up.

Actually, all of the above is completely normal and is a part of the growing process. It depends on the child’s age but as soon as it begins, you have to explain that this is not how one should act and that this kind of behaviour will not make them happy. If this happens again, then you have to remain calm and explain it again, and so until your toddler stops with all the hitting, biting, pulling and scratching. If the toddler is old enough to understand your words but does not yet speak, then you can place them at the bottom of the stairs (only if it’s not always used), on a chair or in a corner. If you choose a chair or a corner, then the location has to be somewhere away from the everyday buzz so that the child can have some peace and quiet. And always make sure to use the same location.

For these timeouts, never use their own bedroom or playroom, because the bedroom has to be the child’s fort where they feel good and safe, and not a place associated with negative emotions. And there would be no point to place them in their playroom as their thoughts will wander and they will forget the reason why they’re there. Under no circumstances can the child be placed in a dark bathroom or in any dark closed spaces as children are afraid of the dark and this may cause your child psychological trauma.

How long should the timeout be – this depend on the age. For 1-year-olds it’s 1 minute, 4-year-olds 4 minutes. If the time’s up, go over to your child (make sure you’re on the same eye level) and explain why they have been removed from the game (make it short and clear). After explaining the situation it’s time for hugs and kisses, after which you both can continue the day in a cheerful way (do not be angry or snappy with the child).

Also, do not leave the child in the timeout corner for longer than stated times. And if the child has a teddy bear, a favourite blankie or whatever special toy that they love, then let them bring it to their timeout space. This should never be taken away as punishment!

If the toddler repeats this again, then go through the same procedure stated above and do not forget that you will need patience – do not raise your voice, pull at their hair, slap them or anything physical, and also do not make remarks like ‘Are you happy now? How many times do I have to put you in a corner?!’

It is also no excuse for you to laugh off your toddler’s violent behaviour, thinking that they’re just a child. If you laugh it off, the toddler will consider this as acceptable and they will continue with the same behaviour even when they grow up.

Let’s raise our children with love and care,

Kadi

Vägivaldne väikelaps

Kas tuleb tuttav ette, et loete raamatut, mängite põrandal või sööte parasjagu, kui äkki krabab laps sinu näost, sakutab sind kahe käega juustest, lööb või koguni hammustab? Muidugi tekib kohe küsimus, et miks ta seda teeb, kas sellest on võimalik kuidagi vabaneda, tekib kohe ka küsimus, mida oled teinud valesti, et väikelaps sedasi käitub?

Olen ühe pisipiigaga just sellist kasvuetappi läbimas. Tema lihtsalt näpistab/küünistab nii, et veri väljas. Hetkel ma näengi tänu sellele välja nagu oleks metsas seenel käinud ja nägu on kriimu peas.

Tegelikult kõik ülalnimetatu on täiesti normaalne ja üks kasvu etapp. Oleneb kui vana on laps, aga koheselt tuleb alati rääkida, et ei tohi teha ja selline käitumine ei tee sind õnnelikuks.
Kui sama kordub kohe uuesti, siis pead jääma rahulikuks ja seletama uuesti, seni kuni väikelaps lõpetab löömise, hammustamise, küünistamise, näpistamise. Kui väikelaps on piisavalt vana ja saab kõigest aru aga veel ei räägi, siis võib kasutada näiteks halva käitumise korral aeg maha treppi (kasuta treppi, mis ei ole pidevalt läbitav), tooli või nurka. Kui valid nurga või tooli, siis peaks olema asukoht selline, kus laps ei oleks teiste tegemiste keskmes vaid rahulik nurk. Kasuta alati sama treppi, nurka või tooli.

Ära mitte kunagi pane last voodisse, magamis- või mängutuppa, sest magamistuba peab olema lapse kindlus ja hea tunde koht mitte karistuseks. Mängutuppa ei tasu seepärast saata, et tema mõtted rändavad siis mänguasjadele ja ununeb põhjus miks ta eraldi teistest peab olema. Mitte mingil juhul ei tohi last panna pimedasse vannituppa või wc-sse, lapsed kardavad pimedat ja selliselt sa hoopis tekitad suurema psühholoogilise trauma lapsele.

Kui kauaks peaks trepil/toolil/nurgas olema – olenevalt lapse vanusest kui on 1a siis üks minut, kui on 4 aastane, siis 4 minutit. Kui aeg on täis saanud, siis mine lapse juurde (samale kõrgusele) ja seleta, miks ta eraldati mängust, (seleta lühidalt ja selgelt põhjus). Kui oled ära seletanud, siis musid ja suured kallistused ning päev läheb rõõmsalt edasi (ei tohi jääda vimma pidama ja tusatsema lapsega).

Ära jäta last pikemalt nurka kui tema vanusest tulenevalt ette nähtud. Kui lapsel on oma kaisukaru, kaisulapp või mis iganes nö tema see eriline mänguasi, siis anna see talle rahunemiseks nurka kaasa, seda ei tohi lisakaristuseks ära võtta!

Kui väikelaps kordab oma mitte aktsepteeritavat käitumist, siis tuleb kogu ülaltoodud protseduuri uuesti korrata, kuid siinkohal ei tasu ära unustada, et sul peab olema kannatlikkust, ei tohi häält tõsta, tutistada, laksu anda või mida iganes veel teha, samuti ei tohi tänitada kui oled korduvalt nurka pannud, näiteks :” noh kas oled rahul, sa ei oska käituda, pean jälle su nurka/trepile/toolile panema!!!!”.

Mitte mingisugune vabandus ega õigustus lapse ebameeldivale käitumisele ei tohi olla see, et ta on alle väike. Kui sa reageerid naerdes sellele, et laps kedagi lööb või hammustab, siis ta arvab, et see ongi väga normaalne ja ta teeb kõike seda ka suuremaks kasvades.

Head lapsed, need kasvavad vitsata!

I advise to invest in little feet

I am very passionate about shoes, and especially about shoes for children – this interest has grown especially over the past couple of years on my career path.

A couple of weeks ago I went to buy new shoes for the little princess which inspired me to write a couple words on this topic.
It is very important to remember that you need to get the shoes according to the current size of their feet. This means that you should not buy shoes that are a couple of numbers bigger to save money, or because you like a specific design that does not have the size you need. You also should not get smaller shoes.

Q: What to keep in mind when choosing shoes?
Remember: size, model, quality.
Some children’s feet are quite high and then you should look for models meant for higher feet. I advise to stick to quality brands where the company does take this into consideration. Most children seem to be flat-footed but there are no reasons for worrying, as feet develop with time and it’s hard to tell anything when they are small. Now many say that flat feet are hereditary and this cannot be avoided, but actually this is not that bad and you can always make it easier or even avoid it in many cases. For this, you need to ensure that the shoes you get have a proper strong sole (not soft slippers), with support inside and around the heel. I am very well aware that everyone has different opinions on this and I respect these as well.

Q: When should children start wearing shoes?
This depends on the child as some run around as soon as they reach 8 months, and others when they are a year and half. My recommendation is that you should start thinking about shoes when the child starts propping themselves up. Of course with this I advise to seek advice from a doctor or orthopedic.
But which shoes to select and what kind of shoes to get depends on the parent.

Another note to keep in mind – if the children start propping themselves up and try to walk around on their toes, then this means that their bottom muscles are not strong enough, so their body weight falls on the chest area. How to understand that the bottom muscles are strong enough? If the child walks around and falls on their butt instead falling on their stomach, and they do not try to walk around on their toes, you know that their muscles are strong enough.

Q: How to get the baby to have strong bottom muscles?
Take a seat on the floor and place the child to stand between your feet. Hold their body (not arms) and let them stand up and sit down while the child’s feet are fixated between your legs and they cannot stand on their toes.

I can tell from my own experience that I probably did not have strong muscles on my own as I was always on my stomach – even on a smooth asphalt road (even when I was attending school). My knees and hands were always scratched (still have scars to prove it!) and even though I knew to place a leaf of a hen plant on it, who knows how many pairs of stockings I ruined by falling on my knees!

I can remember my first shoes were closed-toe shoes, light brown and probably made from leather. But I liked these a lot and probably used these until these could physically not be worn any longer. When I was young, no one really looked at whether shoes were too big or had become too small. But I’m afraid due to wearing smaller shoes my smallest toes are slightly deformed.

My favourite children’s shoe brands are Jacadi and Dpam.

Have a lovely Tuesday,
Kadi

Tillukestesse jalgadesse soovitan investeerida.

Minu üks suur kirg jalanõude- ja eelkõige väikelaste jalatsite vastu on eriti kasvanud viimaste aastatega- seoses tööga.

Mõni nädal tagasi käisin ostmas aastasele preilile jalatseid.
On äärmiselt oluline silmas pidada, et jalatsid vastaksid lapse jala suurusele, ehk ei ostetaks mitu numbrit suuremaid raha kokkuhoiu eesmärgil või kuna meeldib mõni disain rohkem, kuid suurusi pole saadaval. Kindlasti ei tohiks muretseda ka väikeseid jalanõusid.

Mida silmas pidada jalatsi valikul?
Märksõnadeks: suurus/mudel/kvaliteet.
Kuna osadel lastel on jalg väga kõrge, siis tuleks vaadata selliseid mudeleid mis on mõeldud kõrgemale jalale. Soovitan valida kvaliteetseid lastejalatseid valmistava firma tooteid, kus on silmas peetud just väikelaste jalgade eripära. Enamus väikelaste jalad paistavad kui lampjalad ja on tötsakad, kuid muretsemiseks pole põhjust, lapse jalg areneb ja ei jää selliseks. Nüüd tahavad palju öelda, et lampjalgsus on päritav ja see on paratamatus, millega on lepitud juba raseduse ajal, kuid tegelikult pole asi üldse nii hull ja seda saab siiski leevendada- või mõningatel juhtudel ka vältida, kui juba esimesed jalatsid on soetada korralikud tugeva tallaga (mitte pehmed sussid), kanna- ja sisemise toestusega. (Ma tean, et ka siinkohal on paljudel eriarvamused)

Millal peaks hakkama jalanõusid kandma?
See oleneb täitsa lapsest, mõni jookseb ringi juba 8 kuuselt teine aga pooleteise aastaselt. Siin soovitaksin vaadata last, et kui ajab ennast tugede najal kõndima, siis oleks aeg jalatsite peale mõelda. Muidugi oskavad siin parema suuna kätte anda arstid või ortopeedid.
Kuid see, millised jalatsid, kui suured/väiksed/kvaliteetsed jne valitakse on iga lapsevanema enda otsustada. 🙂
Veel üks tähelepanek, kui lapsed hakkavad tugede najal püsti ajama või kõndima ning käivad kikivarvul, siis see tähendab, et tagumiku lihased pole tugevad ja kogu keha raskus läheb rindkerele. Kuidas aru saada, et tagumiku lihased on tugevad? Kui laps hakkab käima ja potsatab tagumikule mitte kõhuli ja seistes/kõndides ei aja ennast kikivarvukile.

Kuidas saada tugevad tagumiku lihased?
Istu põrandale, pane laps oma kahe jala vahele seisma. Hoia kehast (mitte kätest) ja lase tal tõusta püsti ja istuda tagasi reie peale (samal ajal lapse jalad on sinu jalgade vahel fikseeritud ja kikivarvukile tõusta ei saa).

Võin omast kogemusest öelda, et ilmselt polnud mul kõige tugevamad tagumiku lihased, sest alalõpmata olin ma kõhuli maas- ka täiesti siledal asfaltiga kaetud teel (seda veel ka juba koolis käies) Põlved ja käed olid kogu aeg marraskil/verised (armid on siiani alles), suvel teadsin, et teeleht tuleb peale panna, aga kui palju sukkpükse ma puruks kukkusin- seda teab ainult vanajumal ise. 😁
Minu esimesed jalatsid mida mäletan, olid kinnise ninaga, heledamat pruuni värvi kingad, ilmselt nahast, kuid kuna mulle need väga meeldisid ja võimalik, et käisin need räbalateks, siis ei osatud sel ajal tähelepanu pöörata kas jalatsid mitte väikseks pole jäänud. Väikeste jalatsite kandmisest on mul kahjuks mõlema jala väikese varba küüned defektiga.

Mulle on armsaks saanud lastejalatsite brändid Jacadi ja Dpam.

Toredat teisipäeva,
Kadi

All about throwing tantrums

Every parent’s nightmare is for their child to sit down on the floor and start crying in a way that has everyone around them covering their ears. And what would be even more embarrassing than this happening in a very public place?
So what to do? Is there a way to avoid this situation?
Please see below on how I have managed these situations throughout my career.

1) Five years ago on the way home I had a 2.5-year-old and a 7-month-old with me (it was the time when I had just started treading on this career path and was still a trainee in a way). Little one was in a baby buggy while the older child was walking next to me. Within a very short period of time, in the middle of a street with thunder clouds closing in, the 2.5-year-old decided to show his discontent after I refused to carry him home. When first his steps slowed down and he started crying, then in a millisecond he had thrown himself on the street and was screaming as if there was no end. This was my first contact with a proper tantrum.
What did I do? Everyone passing by tried to find out what was going on (to which the child started screaming even more and even louder), while casting proper angry glares towards me for letting the child cry. At that point I had no idea what to do or how, so I picked up the child, threw him over my shoulder and pushed the baby buggy with my other hand towards home.

2) On the way home from the day group with a girl who had just turned two, everything was all good until she decided she wanted to be carried. Considering she had quick feet on her own, I said no, to which the little girl started crying which obviously sounded throughout the whole block. At some point she had found a small stone she could sit on after she had stopped wriggling around like a worm.
What did I do? Compared to my previous story, I was a little smarter this time around and stayed calm. I sat down on the side of the pavement, took out a book from my bag and started reading. After 10 minutes the little girl came and sat down next to me, said she is finished and wished to go home. She gave me a big hug, I wiped her nose clean and we went home.

3) Most recent tantrum happened a couple of days ago. For almost 2 months now I am working for a family in which they have a little girl just over a year. That day she got so angry because I offered her a broccoli-pea-potato-fish puree with cheese. She refused to taste it and wanted something else from the fridge. I’m afraid I do not prepare various dishes for every single meal, and if they do not wish to eat, I do not force them to. Little girl screamed as much as she could, hands in fists.
What did I do? I sat down on the floor and explained that when she feels hungry, then food will be ready for her – to which she got even more hysterical. Then I went to the other room, sat down on the floor and closed my eyes (and thought about what kind of tiling to use in the bathroom). Little one of course followed me and kept expressing her discontent with the situation, but she must’ve been surprised to find me sitting there with my eyes closed. She then tried (without any sound) to open my eyes with her little fingers. When I opened my eyes, she started screaming again. After 25 minutes she picked up her toy bunny and came to give me a hug, after which we went to eat.

What to do during tantrums?
– Stay calm, so calm as if the cries do not exist
– Get down to the child’s level
– Make sure your tone is calm and if they get even more hysterical, then slow down your speech even more
– Do not be affected by what others may think
– Do not give in to the child, try to make them think of something else
– Overall spend as much time with the child as you can and play with them – this means give them your attention and listen to your child
– Make a joke that you know will make them laugh
– Find out the reason for this tantrum, for smaller children it can be as simple as being dehydrated and needing some water
– At the end of every tantrum make sure you hug and then both of you can happily continue with the day
– You can never yell at the child or punish them physically (shake them, tug at their hair, hit them and so on)

Q: Can you punish the child after the tantrum?
NO, NEVER!
Child learns to express their emotions and express themselves, and to punish them for this would be extremely unfair.

NB! Tantrums can happen at any point of the day, you cannot grade your skills or anyone else’s parenting skills based on this.

Have a tantrum-free Tuesday,
Kadi

Whether you are sushing your baby to sleep or once again find yourself giving them a bath at 10pm in the evening – not to worry, Kadi is coming to the rescue with some small tips on how to make your life easier.

I’m just going to dive straight into it.

Babies should usually wake up around 7-8am and then it’s time for breakfast. For those who wish to start giving additional food, I would advise to look towards carrot puree (least likely to cause allergic reactions, but please do be careful if either of the parents have ever had an allergic reaction towards carrots).
After breakfast it would be a good time for fun activities or for a nice walk outside.
Lunch could be somewhere between 10:30 and 12pm, depending how long the child has been awake for and when they woke up in the morning.
Lunch nap could be somewhere around noon and then 1-3 hours of sleep depending on the child.
After the nap it’s time to eat something again. For children who eat solid foods, they could have something like an apple compote or some fruit.
A smaller child would probably need a 30-minute beauty nap around 4pm again and after this it would be nice to go ahead with another walk outside.

For babies, bath time ideally should be around 5.30pm and 6pm. Bathing of course does not mean a big washing up and you most certainly do not need any soaps or other chemicals. If the water is a little coarse, drop some breast milk into the bathing water which will neutralise the water and will make the baby’s skin soft. So that the baby would last the bathing session, you could breastfeed 5 minutes beforehand or give them 30ml milk solution.

After the bath it would be time for dinner and for this keep the TV completely off or on very quiet. The lights should be dimmed. And at 7pm it’s time for sleep.

Now here I usually get a lot of questions about the baby not falling asleep on their own, either they scream or start throwing tantrums. Then it’s time for a small blanket or a dummy. If you have a small special blanket, then the child will probably play with it for a while and then will fall asleep. If they do start screaming, you can pick them up and calm them down (do not turn on any bright lights), and place them back into the bed. It may take a couple of hours before the baby finally falls asleep (a good exercise for your arm muscles), and I would advise to have the dad to help with this. The best solution would be to leave this to the dad.
If they do not want a dummy and you do not have a small special blanket, then I would really advise to get one. And you do not have to spend humongous amounts of money on this, just go to a fabric shop and ask for a softer fabric around 10x10cm (key tip: if you put the fabric against your face and it feels nice, then you can rest assured that the baby will like it as well). You can also be creative and make it into a specific shape like a triangle or anything that you like – why not keep it fun?
Tip for those who breast feed – drop some breast milk on the blankie and your child will accept it faster.

Q: How to get the baby to sleep in their own cot/bed?
Practice with lunch naps before and put the t-shirt you have worn during the day around the mattress. It will smell like you and is very comforting for the baby.

Q: What about the bedroom temperature?
As the body temperature will rise when it’s cold, then I’m afraid it will not cool down in case the bedroom is too hot. This may be a reason why the baby keeps waking up. The temperature should be around +16 and +20 Celsius. You will sleep better as well in a cooler room so keep this in mind.

Q: What happens if the baby starts throwing tantrums after a couple of hours?
If the baby does not wake up but keeps moving around, then you do not need to take them out of their bed or feed them. Let them be. Babies have the same sleep phases as adults do.

If you now read this and were freaked out as your bathing time is around 9pm or 11pm and your baby gets to bed after midnight, then you can be sure that the baby is overtired and the day is too long for them.

Q: How to get the child into a schedule you wish?
Definitely do not change everything overnight, start by shifting these every day by 5 or 10 minutes until you reach the time that suits you. If you have perfected the schedule, then it takes the baby up to 2 weeks to get used to this.
You can also use this to move the nap times or feeding times.

Q: What to do when a child wakes up in the middle of the night?
You do not have to do anything before they start screaming, as quite often they will fall asleep on their own. If you do wish to stop the night-time feeding, you should shift these times 5-15 minutes per day onwards or backwards.

Q: And what if they have additional food?
Babies who have additional foods, the morning breakfast option could be a good porridge and either breastmilk or milk formula. For lunch I would advise a vegetable puree, and after the lunch nap maybe opt for something sweeter, like a fruit puree. For dinner vegetable puree once again. The best foods are prepared at home.

Q: How much food should I give?
First get the baby accustomed to different tastes and textures by giving them half a teaspoon to try. If they would like more, trust your instincts and give a little bit more.

Q: How to understand if the baby is full from the puree?
If the baby eats well, but at some point starts pushing the spoon away or turns their head away, then this is a sign that their stomach is full. Do not be surprised if at once they eat 200-300ml of puree.

All of this at once can be a little overwhelming. So what to do when you are trying to sush the baby to sleep or try another trick from your tricks arsenal, but you are now exhausted and nothing helps? Then breathe in and out, and go back to basics. Read the top part again where I explained a little about how the best way would be to pick them up from their cot when they start screaming, comfort them until they calm down and then place them back in the cot.

If you go out for a stroll with the buggy and the baby cries, then do not let it stop you from that walk as the baby will fall asleep within 5-10 minutes. Do not worry about what others think, as it is your child and you know it will pass.

Q: What to start with?
Make yourself a plan what you wish to change in the beginning and take one step at a time. Keep in mind that it is not good to stress yourself with this either.

I do always say that children are given to this world to teach us patience. And the second thing I say, like in one of the classical Estonian movies, is that if you can’t do the whole thing, do half of the exercise. If your daily schedule does shift up to 45 minutes, then this is completely alright.

NB! Keeping in mind the baby’s safety, do not use a blanket which the baby can pull over his or her head, but use a sleeping bag instead, where the arms are free and body covered.

All questions are more than welcome and I will answer these with pleasure.

Kadi

Kas Eesti Vabariigis soovitakse laste- ja perede heaolu nimel muudatusi teha?

Täna võtan ma teemaks mitte beebid vaid juba natukene suuremad lapsed.

Üha enam ilmub igasugu artikleid, postitusi ja telepöördumisi, kus palutakse kõigi abi kadunud lapse leidmisel. Eriti hull oli paar nädalat tagasi, õnneks küll valeks osutunud lapse kaubikusse tõmbamise lugu.

Kuid hetkel tahaksin hoopis analüüsida üldist pilti, alustades sellest, et peale lasteaia lõppu on 7-8 aastane laps saanud üleöö justkui suureks ja nüüd tuleb hakkata üksi hakkama saama. Minna- ja tulla koolist koju. Teha ise endale süüa, sest vanemad on tööl ja tulevad õhtul hiljem, ka ei saa jätta märkimata koolist antud kodutööde tegemist. Nüüd tuleb aga mängu see, kui lapsel on kodused tööd tegemata, siis siinkohal mitte ei näidata näpuga vanematele, vaid hoopis sellele pisikesele inimesele, kes peab vastutama oma tehtud/tegemata kodutööde eest ja sõjakamate lapsevanemate käest saavad õpetajad sõimata, et julgevad kodutöid jätta ning ei oska oma tööpäeva koolis selliselt organiseerida, et koju õppida ei antaks.
Kui laps on koolist koju jõudnud, siis kuni vanemate saabumiseni sisustatakse aega ekraanide seltsis, olgu selleks siis telekas, tahvelarvuti või nutitelefon.

Eestlased ise peavad oma elukeskkonda justkui väga turvaliseks, kuid samal ajal pannakse kivi-tuvisid vanalinna sissepääsude juurde, kabiku-terrorirünnaku kartuses.
Miks te ei karda pedofiile, vägistajaid, tapjaid ning ahistajaid? Muidugi on sellel lihtne vastus, sest ega neid justkui Eestis väga pole, kuid tegelikult on neid ikka palju, aga nendest kohtulahenditest ei lubata avalikult rääkida ning kohtuistungid on kinnised pidades silmas, et kannatanu on alaealine, kuid kõik juhtumid ei jõua kahjuks üldse politsei ja kohtuni. Eelnimetatud inimgruppide tegutsemist soodustatakse just sellega, et lapsi ei saadeta kooli ega tooda koolist koju, võimaldatakse piiramatult ligipääsu internetile, kus samamoodi vaimse hälbega inimesed ringi hiilivad ja otsivad järgmist ohvrit.

Nüüd tekkis hirmus viha paljudel, et kes sa selline oled, elad Eestist eemal ja hakkad jälle oma heaolu ühiskonna seadustest rääkima. Nimelt Suurbrittanias tuleb lapsi kooli viia ja koju tuua kuni 12 eluaastani ja oleneb kui kaugel on kool kodust. Kodutööde andmises ei süüdistata õpetajaid. Koju ei tohi samuti lapsi üksi jätta.
Ka nö heaoluühiskonnas ei ole siiski lapsed kaitstud 100%.

Mida saaks teha Eesti riik?
Iga kooli juures võik olla pikapäevarühm kus lapsed saaksid olla kuni vanemad järgi tulevad. Samuti oleks abiks kui tehtaks koolitööd ära. Lahendus on ka see, kui leitaks hoidja või keegi kes tegeleks lapsega.
Kui Eestis tehtaks seadus, et lapsed ei tohi üksi kooli minna ja sealt koju tulla mingi vanuseni, vaid ainult koos saatjaga, siis ei peaks me lugema traagilistest õnnetustest kus koolilaps jooksis teele või rattaga sõites jäi auto alla.

Mida saaksid teha Eesti tööandjad?
Need lapsevanemad kes töötavad teenindavas sektoris, miks on Eestis kauplused kella 11-ni õhtul avatud? See on ausalt absurd! Toon näiteks Londoni kus kella kaheksast tarbekauplused suletakse ja toidupoed olenevalt ettevõttest on kas tunnike või paar kauem lahti. Pühapäeval suletakse poed kella viiest-kuuest või on üldse kinni. Kui nüüd on pahameel, et ei jõua kuidagi varem poodi kui kell 11 õhtul, siis siinkohal on variant teha sisseostud internetipoes või planeerida oma nädala söögiplaan.
Inimesed tuleks kindlasti parema meelega teenindussektorisse tööle, kui neid ei koheldaks kui orjasid ning tööpäevad ei sõidaks sisse uneaega.

Mida saaks teha lapsevanemad?
Lõpetage kodus nutiseadmete kasutamine, mängige lauamänge ja tehke muid põnevaid asju koos. Õppige oma last tundma ja ärge pange üleliigseid kohustusi/ootusi oma pesamunadele, tundke huvi lapse päeva vastu.
Sööge koos hommikust ja õhtust, nädalavahetusel veetke aega õues. Lugege, käige raamatukogus, tegelege lapsega. Kui käib koolibuss, siis organiseerige nii, et keegi saadab bussi peale ja on ka bussi vastas.

Kokkuvõttes ei ole kunagi süü ühepoolne ja vaadata tuleks tervikut, kas tõesti on raske teha neid väikeseid muudatusi laste- ja perede heaolu nimel?

Kadi

Can I work out and when can I do so?

Pregnancy is life-changing for every woman, and to stay in a good physical form, you can try different workouts even now. If you have decided to start working out immediately after giving birth, then you should definitely consult a specialist. I have asked for some advice from a personal trainer and nutritionist Janika Koch-Mäe  (www.sinutreener.ee) and here are the four most frequently asked questions I get.

Q: Can I work out during pregnancy? How much and what kind of exercises should I do?

During pregnancy you can most certainly work out unless the doctor has stated otherwise. If you have been active before pregnancy and have been working out regularly, then you can continue doing so but keep the workouts lighter. This means, it would not be wise to add weights or increase intensity, but maintain the form you have reached.
If the soon-to-be mom has not been working out regularly prior to pregnancy, then it is not wise to start with intense workouts or to pick up a new sport. Working out during pregnancy should not include jumping around, sudden movements or fast exercises for the core. Additionally it’s not recommended to keep the pulse over 140-150 beats per minute for a long time.

Q: Who to consult with if you wish to work out during pregnancy or after giving birth?

I would advise to check this with your doctor or with your maternity nurse, and with your personal trainer.

Q: How much and what kind of workouts can I do after giving birth?

If there have been no complications during giving birth, then you can start working out after around 1 month, vaginal muscles can be exercised immediately after giving birth. It is also a very good exercise to take your baby out for a walk.
In regards to caesarean, you will need to wait at least 2 months. I would strongly recommend to consult with a doctor beforehand, as every person is different.

Q: Will working out lessen the amount of milk I produce? Or can it be a cause of no milk-production?

Working out should not influence the production of breast milk. It is important to ensure that you get enough energy from nutritional food and to keep your meal times regular.

Separately, Janika would like to stress on something specific: ‘Before you start training your stomach muscles on your own, I would advise to consult a personal trainer. Depending on the pregnancy, you can have diastasis recti (abs separation) and in this case it is not a good idea to do regular stomach exercises as these will only make this worse.’

Wishing you a sporty week,

Kadi

The whole truth about removing wisdom teeth in London!

Let me begin from when I booked the appointment. I actually went to two different hospitals as every practice does not offer this service. After having experienced wisdom teeth extraction in Estonia, I do think that this procedure should be done by a specialist with enough power as this strength is going to be well spent!

It was clear from the beginning that one wisdom tooth was a little too close to a nerve, which meant that I may feel pain, and in case the removal damages the nerve, I could be left with feeling uncomfortable until the rest of my life. Quite promising, if I my add.

On the first visit to the hospital, I was offered to either have a local or a general anaesthetic. They did not have to offer me the latter twice! As my fast life tempo would not give me a chance to have two different surgeries (and I wouldn’t want it either), I queried if they could remove two of them in one surgery so that I could get it over with and wouldn’t have to spend a whole month slurring soup. The dentist agreed, as these teeth were positioned diagonally from each other.

The week leading up to the extraction I was feeling really nervous, had nightmares and experienced loss of appetite. Evening before I did some groceries to get a couple of kilos of yoghurt to survive the weekend.

I had to be at the hospital at 7.45am, I was told not to eat anything from the midnight before and no drinking after 6am. So before the midnight I ransacked my kitchen and chucked down a couple of bananas as if I could never eat again.
I woke up at 5am to drink a litre of water – mentally I was already exhausted.
My other half came to the hospital with me for support. The drive there took about an hour and we didn’t talk much. What’s there to talk about if I could feel a litre of water going around in my stomach.

Got to the hospital, took a lift to the correct department and then I felt like crying. It was just one big space/corridor filled with around 12 beds, which were only separated by what looked like a thin curtain. I didn’t know where to run as there was no privacy at all!
Then I was given a set of those ugly surgery clothes. I pulled the curtain around the bed for that tiny bit of privacy I could get and put on the gown which was quite simple (same ones as used during giving birth). It was a completely different story with the knee-highs. I couldn’t get these on at all no matter how much I tried and it took me a while only to understand that these disrupted my blood flow from the knee down which left me with numb legs. To which they got me a size bigger which was a completely different story.
A nurse came around to measure the blood pressure – I only wanted to lie down but of course they asked me to sit up. Even the nurse laughed a little saying that it looks like I have never been to a hospital. I had to agree that not in this way indeed.

Then they checked my details and put bracelets on me which stated my name and my date of birth. I still had enough spice left in me so I dropped a joke that at least they will know who to send my remains to if any of the interns accidentally removes a leg or an arm.

And after I had said my goodbyes with my lovely partner who promised to pick me up after work, it was time for the extraction.

The operation room was small, not like in the movies. Far from it.
I hopped on the operating table and then had two people meddling with things around me. One of them tried to get a cannula into a vein on my arm and that was the moment when I literally shouted ‘SHEEP!’ over the room (the doctors did say that it’s a room where you can freely swear). Why did I decide to go for a ‘Sheep’? It’s one of the agreements with the children that we do not swear, but if you do hit your toe, you can say ‘Sheep’ instead. Of course I felt that the cannula was not inserted properly but they did not listen to me.
Then I kept chatting to one of the doctors and asked if I was already getting anaesthesia, maybe they could also wipe off the wrinkles and touch up on my butt and breasts. Just to use my money as a taxpayer to the maximum of course. They did not seem to get my humour as the dentist had previously worked in a private cosmetic and plastic surgery clinic, saying that I should not let a dentist do anything more than approved in their papers as otherwise the results will be horrendous.
Then I remembered another little thing, ‘Please keep my teeth, I really want to have these for the teeth fairy.’ You see, I had promised the children that we would see if we get more money for bigger teeth.
They said I will not be able to have these (and no one had actually asked for this before), but on this occasion they were not able to grant this little wish of mine due to hygienic reasons. They did promise to put it in a plastic bag so I could take a picture for the children after the operation.
Then I felt the anaesthesia kick in.

When I woke up, I was being taken back to the ward/corridor where I had been previously. They said everything went well, only that there was a little incision to my cheek which they had to stitch up. I didn’t really understand this part while I was drowsy (only later at home I understood that they did not only stitch the part that was left open from the extraction but they had made an actual incision to the inner cheek as well). I didn’t feel any pain and asked if they were sure that they removed my wisdom teeth? And there was the plastic cup with my teeth.

I asked for lunch immediately as well which I received soon enough. Only thing that I had to keep in mind was that I was not supposed to eat anything hot, and so I waited for the food to cool down. Half of my face was completely numb and I could feel nothing. When I finally started eating, I mashed everything together as if feeding a little child. My lunch took around 45 minutes and in-between the nurse dropped a couple of comments about me really enjoying my lunch – which of course I did as I was not in a hurry! Then they also gave me a bag with antibiotics for the next five days and a whole box of pain killers. I asked whether I should take the painkillers if I’m not in any pain which surprised Mrs. Nurse, and she said that if I do not feel any pain, then I can leave it.

The only thing that was painful was the cannula in my arm! But that was not removed before I was released from the hospital just so if anything happened, they would not have to insert it again.

I spent the whole day in bed, but I was still not able to get used to the chaos around me with no privacy. There were signs everywhere forbidding mobile phones, but you could still hear constant ringing over the room and everyone had heaps of visitors throughout the day – far from everything I had previously imagined!

To kill some time, I had taken my knitting with me (Mrs. Nurse dropped by once in a while to check if I would be able to finish the sweater by the evening), but the room itself was quite stuffy. No windows could be opened and there were numerous signs saying it was due to squirrels who seemed to love dropping by.

Amidst all of this, I had received numerous messages to ask whether I look like a hamster, or how the soup and yoghurt taste like. I enjoyed this humour. What a shame though, as I had to send back pictures of me nibbling on the better stuff.
By the time I was to be released, they removed the cannula in my arm and it was clear that it was inserted incorrectly as my whole arm was blue and blood splashed everywhere, literally. They taped my hand with a huge ugly plaster which I couldn’t get off later!

In the evening everything was peachy and I had some yoghurt only because I had already stocked up on it.

A couple of days later it was clear that I had to take out the stitching thread from the inside of my cheek, as it kept pulling during the night and was so painful! That was the only time when I took a couple of painkilles (on my fourth night back home).
How did I remove this? That was an acrobatic exercise on its own, trying to get the knot out with tweezers. It was very unpleasant and it took quite a number of tries in between of which I slept an hour or two. After my little nap the knot seemed to have given in and I could pull the thread out.

At the end of all of this, I can say that if they offer you a general anaesthetic, then I would advise to use it. It’s less stressful and you will not have to feel like they are trying to pull out your eyeballs with the extraction.

If you do need to do this procedure, then enjoy the hospital experience to the fullest!
Kadi

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