All about throwing tantrums

Every parent’s nightmare is for their child to sit down on the floor and start crying in a way that has everyone around them covering their ears. And what would be even more embarrassing than this happening in a very public place?
So what to do? Is there a way to avoid this situation?
Please see below on how I have managed these situations throughout my career.

1) Five years ago on the way home I had a 2.5-year-old and a 7-month-old with me (it was the time when I had just started treading on this career path and was still a trainee in a way). Little one was in a baby buggy while the older child was walking next to me. Within a very short period of time, in the middle of a street with thunder clouds closing in, the 2.5-year-old decided to show his discontent after I refused to carry him home. When first his steps slowed down and he started crying, then in a millisecond he had thrown himself on the street and was screaming as if there was no end. This was my first contact with a proper tantrum.
What did I do? Everyone passing by tried to find out what was going on (to which the child started screaming even more and even louder), while casting proper angry glares towards me for letting the child cry. At that point I had no idea what to do or how, so I picked up the child, threw him over my shoulder and pushed the baby buggy with my other hand towards home.

2) On the way home from the day group with a girl who had just turned two, everything was all good until she decided she wanted to be carried. Considering she had quick feet on her own, I said no, to which the little girl started crying which obviously sounded throughout the whole block. At some point she had found a small stone she could sit on after she had stopped wriggling around like a worm.
What did I do? Compared to my previous story, I was a little smarter this time around and stayed calm. I sat down on the side of the pavement, took out a book from my bag and started reading. After 10 minutes the little girl came and sat down next to me, said she is finished and wished to go home. She gave me a big hug, I wiped her nose clean and we went home.

3) Most recent tantrum happened a couple of days ago. For almost 2 months now I am working for a family in which they have a little girl just over a year. That day she got so angry because I offered her a broccoli-pea-potato-fish puree with cheese. She refused to taste it and wanted something else from the fridge. I’m afraid I do not prepare various dishes for every single meal, and if they do not wish to eat, I do not force them to. Little girl screamed as much as she could, hands in fists.
What did I do? I sat down on the floor and explained that when she feels hungry, then food will be ready for her – to which she got even more hysterical. Then I went to the other room, sat down on the floor and closed my eyes (and thought about what kind of tiling to use in the bathroom). Little one of course followed me and kept expressing her discontent with the situation, but she must’ve been surprised to find me sitting there with my eyes closed. She then tried (without any sound) to open my eyes with her little fingers. When I opened my eyes, she started screaming again. After 25 minutes she picked up her toy bunny and came to give me a hug, after which we went to eat.

What to do during tantrums?
– Stay calm, so calm as if the cries do not exist
– Get down to the child’s level
– Make sure your tone is calm and if they get even more hysterical, then slow down your speech even more
– Do not be affected by what others may think
– Do not give in to the child, try to make them think of something else
– Overall spend as much time with the child as you can and play with them – this means give them your attention and listen to your child
– Make a joke that you know will make them laugh
– Find out the reason for this tantrum, for smaller children it can be as simple as being dehydrated and needing some water
– At the end of every tantrum make sure you hug and then both of you can happily continue with the day
– You can never yell at the child or punish them physically (shake them, tug at their hair, hit them and so on)

Q: Can you punish the child after the tantrum?
NO, NEVER!
Child learns to express their emotions and express themselves, and to punish them for this would be extremely unfair.

NB! Tantrums can happen at any point of the day, you cannot grade your skills or anyone else’s parenting skills based on this.

Have a tantrum-free Tuesday,
Kadi

Whether you are sushing your baby to sleep or once again find yourself giving them a bath at 10pm in the evening – not to worry, Kadi is coming to the rescue with some small tips on how to make your life easier.

I’m just going to dive straight into it.

Babies should usually wake up around 7-8am and then it’s time for breakfast. For those who wish to start giving additional food, I would advise to look towards carrot puree (least likely to cause allergic reactions, but please do be careful if either of the parents have ever had an allergic reaction towards carrots).
After breakfast it would be a good time for fun activities or for a nice walk outside.
Lunch could be somewhere between 10:30 and 12pm, depending how long the child has been awake for and when they woke up in the morning.
Lunch nap could be somewhere around noon and then 1-3 hours of sleep depending on the child.
After the nap it’s time to eat something again. For children who eat solid foods, they could have something like an apple compote or some fruit.
A smaller child would probably need a 30-minute beauty nap around 4pm again and after this it would be nice to go ahead with another walk outside.

For babies, bath time ideally should be around 5.30pm and 6pm. Bathing of course does not mean a big washing up and you most certainly do not need any soaps or other chemicals. If the water is a little coarse, drop some breast milk into the bathing water which will neutralise the water and will make the baby’s skin soft. So that the baby would last the bathing session, you could breastfeed 5 minutes beforehand or give them 30ml milk solution.

After the bath it would be time for dinner and for this keep the TV completely off or on very quiet. The lights should be dimmed. And at 7pm it’s time for sleep.

Now here I usually get a lot of questions about the baby not falling asleep on their own, either they scream or start throwing tantrums. Then it’s time for a small blanket or a dummy. If you have a small special blanket, then the child will probably play with it for a while and then will fall asleep. If they do start screaming, you can pick them up and calm them down (do not turn on any bright lights), and place them back into the bed. It may take a couple of hours before the baby finally falls asleep (a good exercise for your arm muscles), and I would advise to have the dad to help with this. The best solution would be to leave this to the dad.
If they do not want a dummy and you do not have a small special blanket, then I would really advise to get one. And you do not have to spend humongous amounts of money on this, just go to a fabric shop and ask for a softer fabric around 10x10cm (key tip: if you put the fabric against your face and it feels nice, then you can rest assured that the baby will like it as well). You can also be creative and make it into a specific shape like a triangle or anything that you like – why not keep it fun?
Tip for those who breast feed – drop some breast milk on the blankie and your child will accept it faster.

Q: How to get the baby to sleep in their own cot/bed?
Practice with lunch naps before and put the t-shirt you have worn during the day around the mattress. It will smell like you and is very comforting for the baby.

Q: What about the bedroom temperature?
As the body temperature will rise when it’s cold, then I’m afraid it will not cool down in case the bedroom is too hot. This may be a reason why the baby keeps waking up. The temperature should be around +16 and +20 Celsius. You will sleep better as well in a cooler room so keep this in mind.

Q: What happens if the baby starts throwing tantrums after a couple of hours?
If the baby does not wake up but keeps moving around, then you do not need to take them out of their bed or feed them. Let them be. Babies have the same sleep phases as adults do.

If you now read this and were freaked out as your bathing time is around 9pm or 11pm and your baby gets to bed after midnight, then you can be sure that the baby is overtired and the day is too long for them.

Q: How to get the child into a schedule you wish?
Definitely do not change everything overnight, start by shifting these every day by 5 or 10 minutes until you reach the time that suits you. If you have perfected the schedule, then it takes the baby up to 2 weeks to get used to this.
You can also use this to move the nap times or feeding times.

Q: What to do when a child wakes up in the middle of the night?
You do not have to do anything before they start screaming, as quite often they will fall asleep on their own. If you do wish to stop the night-time feeding, you should shift these times 5-15 minutes per day onwards or backwards.

Q: And what if they have additional food?
Babies who have additional foods, the morning breakfast option could be a good porridge and either breastmilk or milk formula. For lunch I would advise a vegetable puree, and after the lunch nap maybe opt for something sweeter, like a fruit puree. For dinner vegetable puree once again. The best foods are prepared at home.

Q: How much food should I give?
First get the baby accustomed to different tastes and textures by giving them half a teaspoon to try. If they would like more, trust your instincts and give a little bit more.

Q: How to understand if the baby is full from the puree?
If the baby eats well, but at some point starts pushing the spoon away or turns their head away, then this is a sign that their stomach is full. Do not be surprised if at once they eat 200-300ml of puree.

All of this at once can be a little overwhelming. So what to do when you are trying to sush the baby to sleep or try another trick from your tricks arsenal, but you are now exhausted and nothing helps? Then breathe in and out, and go back to basics. Read the top part again where I explained a little about how the best way would be to pick them up from their cot when they start screaming, comfort them until they calm down and then place them back in the cot.

If you go out for a stroll with the buggy and the baby cries, then do not let it stop you from that walk as the baby will fall asleep within 5-10 minutes. Do not worry about what others think, as it is your child and you know it will pass.

Q: What to start with?
Make yourself a plan what you wish to change in the beginning and take one step at a time. Keep in mind that it is not good to stress yourself with this either.

I do always say that children are given to this world to teach us patience. And the second thing I say, like in one of the classical Estonian movies, is that if you can’t do the whole thing, do half of the exercise. If your daily schedule does shift up to 45 minutes, then this is completely alright.

NB! Keeping in mind the baby’s safety, do not use a blanket which the baby can pull over his or her head, but use a sleeping bag instead, where the arms are free and body covered.

All questions are more than welcome and I will answer these with pleasure.

Kadi

Kas Eesti Vabariigis soovitakse laste- ja perede heaolu nimel muudatusi teha?

Täna võtan ma teemaks mitte beebid vaid juba natukene suuremad lapsed.

Üha enam ilmub igasugu artikleid, postitusi ja telepöördumisi, kus palutakse kõigi abi kadunud lapse leidmisel. Eriti hull oli paar nädalat tagasi, õnneks küll valeks osutunud lapse kaubikusse tõmbamise lugu.

Kuid hetkel tahaksin hoopis analüüsida üldist pilti, alustades sellest, et peale lasteaia lõppu on 7-8 aastane laps saanud üleöö justkui suureks ja nüüd tuleb hakkata üksi hakkama saama. Minna- ja tulla koolist koju. Teha ise endale süüa, sest vanemad on tööl ja tulevad õhtul hiljem, ka ei saa jätta märkimata koolist antud kodutööde tegemist. Nüüd tuleb aga mängu see, kui lapsel on kodused tööd tegemata, siis siinkohal mitte ei näidata näpuga vanematele, vaid hoopis sellele pisikesele inimesele, kes peab vastutama oma tehtud/tegemata kodutööde eest ja sõjakamate lapsevanemate käest saavad õpetajad sõimata, et julgevad kodutöid jätta ning ei oska oma tööpäeva koolis selliselt organiseerida, et koju õppida ei antaks.
Kui laps on koolist koju jõudnud, siis kuni vanemate saabumiseni sisustatakse aega ekraanide seltsis, olgu selleks siis telekas, tahvelarvuti või nutitelefon.

Eestlased ise peavad oma elukeskkonda justkui väga turvaliseks, kuid samal ajal pannakse kivi-tuvisid vanalinna sissepääsude juurde, kabiku-terrorirünnaku kartuses.
Miks te ei karda pedofiile, vägistajaid, tapjaid ning ahistajaid? Muidugi on sellel lihtne vastus, sest ega neid justkui Eestis väga pole, kuid tegelikult on neid ikka palju, aga nendest kohtulahenditest ei lubata avalikult rääkida ning kohtuistungid on kinnised pidades silmas, et kannatanu on alaealine, kuid kõik juhtumid ei jõua kahjuks üldse politsei ja kohtuni. Eelnimetatud inimgruppide tegutsemist soodustatakse just sellega, et lapsi ei saadeta kooli ega tooda koolist koju, võimaldatakse piiramatult ligipääsu internetile, kus samamoodi vaimse hälbega inimesed ringi hiilivad ja otsivad järgmist ohvrit.

Nüüd tekkis hirmus viha paljudel, et kes sa selline oled, elad Eestist eemal ja hakkad jälle oma heaolu ühiskonna seadustest rääkima. Nimelt Suurbrittanias tuleb lapsi kooli viia ja koju tuua kuni 12 eluaastani ja oleneb kui kaugel on kool kodust. Kodutööde andmises ei süüdistata õpetajaid. Koju ei tohi samuti lapsi üksi jätta.
Ka nö heaoluühiskonnas ei ole siiski lapsed kaitstud 100%.

Mida saaks teha Eesti riik?
Iga kooli juures võik olla pikapäevarühm kus lapsed saaksid olla kuni vanemad järgi tulevad. Samuti oleks abiks kui tehtaks koolitööd ära. Lahendus on ka see, kui leitaks hoidja või keegi kes tegeleks lapsega.
Kui Eestis tehtaks seadus, et lapsed ei tohi üksi kooli minna ja sealt koju tulla mingi vanuseni, vaid ainult koos saatjaga, siis ei peaks me lugema traagilistest õnnetustest kus koolilaps jooksis teele või rattaga sõites jäi auto alla.

Mida saaksid teha Eesti tööandjad?
Need lapsevanemad kes töötavad teenindavas sektoris, miks on Eestis kauplused kella 11-ni õhtul avatud? See on ausalt absurd! Toon näiteks Londoni kus kella kaheksast tarbekauplused suletakse ja toidupoed olenevalt ettevõttest on kas tunnike või paar kauem lahti. Pühapäeval suletakse poed kella viiest-kuuest või on üldse kinni. Kui nüüd on pahameel, et ei jõua kuidagi varem poodi kui kell 11 õhtul, siis siinkohal on variant teha sisseostud internetipoes või planeerida oma nädala söögiplaan.
Inimesed tuleks kindlasti parema meelega teenindussektorisse tööle, kui neid ei koheldaks kui orjasid ning tööpäevad ei sõidaks sisse uneaega.

Mida saaks teha lapsevanemad?
Lõpetage kodus nutiseadmete kasutamine, mängige lauamänge ja tehke muid põnevaid asju koos. Õppige oma last tundma ja ärge pange üleliigseid kohustusi/ootusi oma pesamunadele, tundke huvi lapse päeva vastu.
Sööge koos hommikust ja õhtust, nädalavahetusel veetke aega õues. Lugege, käige raamatukogus, tegelege lapsega. Kui käib koolibuss, siis organiseerige nii, et keegi saadab bussi peale ja on ka bussi vastas.

Kokkuvõttes ei ole kunagi süü ühepoolne ja vaadata tuleks tervikut, kas tõesti on raske teha neid väikeseid muudatusi laste- ja perede heaolu nimel?

Kadi

Can I work out and when can I do so?

Pregnancy is life-changing for every woman, and to stay in a good physical form, you can try different workouts even now. If you have decided to start working out immediately after giving birth, then you should definitely consult a specialist. I have asked for some advice from a personal trainer and nutritionist Janika Koch-Mäe  (www.sinutreener.ee) and here are the four most frequently asked questions I get.

Q: Can I work out during pregnancy? How much and what kind of exercises should I do?

During pregnancy you can most certainly work out unless the doctor has stated otherwise. If you have been active before pregnancy and have been working out regularly, then you can continue doing so but keep the workouts lighter. This means, it would not be wise to add weights or increase intensity, but maintain the form you have reached.
If the soon-to-be mom has not been working out regularly prior to pregnancy, then it is not wise to start with intense workouts or to pick up a new sport. Working out during pregnancy should not include jumping around, sudden movements or fast exercises for the core. Additionally it’s not recommended to keep the pulse over 140-150 beats per minute for a long time.

Q: Who to consult with if you wish to work out during pregnancy or after giving birth?

I would advise to check this with your doctor or with your maternity nurse, and with your personal trainer.

Q: How much and what kind of workouts can I do after giving birth?

If there have been no complications during giving birth, then you can start working out after around 1 month, vaginal muscles can be exercised immediately after giving birth. It is also a very good exercise to take your baby out for a walk.
In regards to caesarean, you will need to wait at least 2 months. I would strongly recommend to consult with a doctor beforehand, as every person is different.

Q: Will working out lessen the amount of milk I produce? Or can it be a cause of no milk-production?

Working out should not influence the production of breast milk. It is important to ensure that you get enough energy from nutritional food and to keep your meal times regular.

Separately, Janika would like to stress on something specific: ‘Before you start training your stomach muscles on your own, I would advise to consult a personal trainer. Depending on the pregnancy, you can have diastasis recti (abs separation) and in this case it is not a good idea to do regular stomach exercises as these will only make this worse.’

Wishing you a sporty week,

Kadi

The whole truth about removing wisdom teeth in London!

Let me begin from when I booked the appointment. I actually went to two different hospitals as every practice does not offer this service. After having experienced wisdom teeth extraction in Estonia, I do think that this procedure should be done by a specialist with enough power as this strength is going to be well spent!

It was clear from the beginning that one wisdom tooth was a little too close to a nerve, which meant that I may feel pain, and in case the removal damages the nerve, I could be left with feeling uncomfortable until the rest of my life. Quite promising, if I my add.

On the first visit to the hospital, I was offered to either have a local or a general anaesthetic. They did not have to offer me the latter twice! As my fast life tempo would not give me a chance to have two different surgeries (and I wouldn’t want it either), I queried if they could remove two of them in one surgery so that I could get it over with and wouldn’t have to spend a whole month slurring soup. The dentist agreed, as these teeth were positioned diagonally from each other.

The week leading up to the extraction I was feeling really nervous, had nightmares and experienced loss of appetite. Evening before I did some groceries to get a couple of kilos of yoghurt to survive the weekend.

I had to be at the hospital at 7.45am, I was told not to eat anything from the midnight before and no drinking after 6am. So before the midnight I ransacked my kitchen and chucked down a couple of bananas as if I could never eat again.
I woke up at 5am to drink a litre of water – mentally I was already exhausted.
My other half came to the hospital with me for support. The drive there took about an hour and we didn’t talk much. What’s there to talk about if I could feel a litre of water going around in my stomach.

Got to the hospital, took a lift to the correct department and then I felt like crying. It was just one big space/corridor filled with around 12 beds, which were only separated by what looked like a thin curtain. I didn’t know where to run as there was no privacy at all!
Then I was given a set of those ugly surgery clothes. I pulled the curtain around the bed for that tiny bit of privacy I could get and put on the gown which was quite simple (same ones as used during giving birth). It was a completely different story with the knee-highs. I couldn’t get these on at all no matter how much I tried and it took me a while only to understand that these disrupted my blood flow from the knee down which left me with numb legs. To which they got me a size bigger which was a completely different story.
A nurse came around to measure the blood pressure – I only wanted to lie down but of course they asked me to sit up. Even the nurse laughed a little saying that it looks like I have never been to a hospital. I had to agree that not in this way indeed.

Then they checked my details and put bracelets on me which stated my name and my date of birth. I still had enough spice left in me so I dropped a joke that at least they will know who to send my remains to if any of the interns accidentally removes a leg or an arm.

And after I had said my goodbyes with my lovely partner who promised to pick me up after work, it was time for the extraction.

The operation room was small, not like in the movies. Far from it.
I hopped on the operating table and then had two people meddling with things around me. One of them tried to get a cannula into a vein on my arm and that was the moment when I literally shouted ‘SHEEP!’ over the room (the doctors did say that it’s a room where you can freely swear). Why did I decide to go for a ‘Sheep’? It’s one of the agreements with the children that we do not swear, but if you do hit your toe, you can say ‘Sheep’ instead. Of course I felt that the cannula was not inserted properly but they did not listen to me.
Then I kept chatting to one of the doctors and asked if I was already getting anaesthesia, maybe they could also wipe off the wrinkles and touch up on my butt and breasts. Just to use my money as a taxpayer to the maximum of course. They did not seem to get my humour as the dentist had previously worked in a private cosmetic and plastic surgery clinic, saying that I should not let a dentist do anything more than approved in their papers as otherwise the results will be horrendous.
Then I remembered another little thing, ‘Please keep my teeth, I really want to have these for the teeth fairy.’ You see, I had promised the children that we would see if we get more money for bigger teeth.
They said I will not be able to have these (and no one had actually asked for this before), but on this occasion they were not able to grant this little wish of mine due to hygienic reasons. They did promise to put it in a plastic bag so I could take a picture for the children after the operation.
Then I felt the anaesthesia kick in.

When I woke up, I was being taken back to the ward/corridor where I had been previously. They said everything went well, only that there was a little incision to my cheek which they had to stitch up. I didn’t really understand this part while I was drowsy (only later at home I understood that they did not only stitch the part that was left open from the extraction but they had made an actual incision to the inner cheek as well). I didn’t feel any pain and asked if they were sure that they removed my wisdom teeth? And there was the plastic cup with my teeth.

I asked for lunch immediately as well which I received soon enough. Only thing that I had to keep in mind was that I was not supposed to eat anything hot, and so I waited for the food to cool down. Half of my face was completely numb and I could feel nothing. When I finally started eating, I mashed everything together as if feeding a little child. My lunch took around 45 minutes and in-between the nurse dropped a couple of comments about me really enjoying my lunch – which of course I did as I was not in a hurry! Then they also gave me a bag with antibiotics for the next five days and a whole box of pain killers. I asked whether I should take the painkillers if I’m not in any pain which surprised Mrs. Nurse, and she said that if I do not feel any pain, then I can leave it.

The only thing that was painful was the cannula in my arm! But that was not removed before I was released from the hospital just so if anything happened, they would not have to insert it again.

I spent the whole day in bed, but I was still not able to get used to the chaos around me with no privacy. There were signs everywhere forbidding mobile phones, but you could still hear constant ringing over the room and everyone had heaps of visitors throughout the day – far from everything I had previously imagined!

To kill some time, I had taken my knitting with me (Mrs. Nurse dropped by once in a while to check if I would be able to finish the sweater by the evening), but the room itself was quite stuffy. No windows could be opened and there were numerous signs saying it was due to squirrels who seemed to love dropping by.

Amidst all of this, I had received numerous messages to ask whether I look like a hamster, or how the soup and yoghurt taste like. I enjoyed this humour. What a shame though, as I had to send back pictures of me nibbling on the better stuff.
By the time I was to be released, they removed the cannula in my arm and it was clear that it was inserted incorrectly as my whole arm was blue and blood splashed everywhere, literally. They taped my hand with a huge ugly plaster which I couldn’t get off later!

In the evening everything was peachy and I had some yoghurt only because I had already stocked up on it.

A couple of days later it was clear that I had to take out the stitching thread from the inside of my cheek, as it kept pulling during the night and was so painful! That was the only time when I took a couple of painkilles (on my fourth night back home).
How did I remove this? That was an acrobatic exercise on its own, trying to get the knot out with tweezers. It was very unpleasant and it took quite a number of tries in between of which I slept an hour or two. After my little nap the knot seemed to have given in and I could pull the thread out.

At the end of all of this, I can say that if they offer you a general anaesthetic, then I would advise to use it. It’s less stressful and you will not have to feel like they are trying to pull out your eyeballs with the extraction.

If you do need to do this procedure, then enjoy the hospital experience to the fullest!
Kadi

Hospital food in London!

Surprisingly enough, this is quite a popular topic nowadays. A couple of weeks ago I had a chance to experience this on my own skin. And imagine my surprise when instead of a regular canteen (which I was expecting), they brought my lunch to bed!

First thing in the morning, I queried to find out what’s for lunch and whether I will be back from the operation before this. If not, I asked if they could save me a portion somewhere on the side.

Mrs. Nurse gave me a look as if she was not sure whether to take my question seriously, and then said that there are no specific lunch times and that everything will be brought to bed.

Me being me with my lovely sense of humour, I asked if it was going to be fish and chips as it was Friday – this amused Mrs. Nurse quite a bit before giving a couple of kind words of acknowledgement for my way of thinking. A little bit later she returned with an A4 paper, an actual list of foods I could choose from – actually, let’s be honest here, it was a menu where I had to choose a lunch and a dinner from (with dessert!).
For lunch I chose vegetables with salmon, for dinner a lasagne, and both were finished off with yoghurt for dessert.

So how was the food you might ask? You know, I have never been so hungry in my life and on that day I enjoyed every single bite.

What was a little bizarre, were the people around me who only went for a sandwich or just a yoghurt. I then tried to find out why that was the case, and Mrs. Nurse advised that the hospital food was not to people’s liking. Honestly… I don’t know what people usually eat…

I concluded that people are quite picky about food, but I am happy with how my money as the taxpayer is being spent on the hospital food!

Bon Appétit!
Kadi

Kes on Hea isa ja Hea ema!?!

Kui alles hiljuti oli meil isadepäev ja teemaks muidugi, kes-ja milliste omadustega on parim isa?!

Kas parim isa jätab oma töö välismaal ja tormab mähkmeid vahetama? Samas tekib ka küsimus ema kohta, kas parim ema on see kes toidab rinnaga, istub kodus vähemalt lapse kolme aastaseks saamiseni ja loobub sotsiaalsusest lapse pärast?

Ilmselt sel teemal võiksin kirjutada raamatu või isegi serjaali jagu tsenaariumi mis jookseks teleekraanidel nagu Vaprad ja ilusad või Kodus ja võõrsil.

Iga vanem peaks järgima oma sisetunnet, mitte laskma ennast ühiskonnas välja kujunenud normidest ja kõrvalseisvate inimeste näpuvibutustest häirida. Lõppude lõpuks võivad oma töö vilju nautida- ja uhked olla vanemad, kelle lapsed on kodust kaasa võtnud empaatiavõime ja oskuse hoolida teistest, olenemata kasvatusmeetodist ja sellest kui palju on ennast nö ohverdatud “lapse heaolu” nimel.

Isiklikult leian, et parim lapsevanem saab olla ka ilma ennast ohverdamata. Parimad vanemad on need kes oma last armastavad tingimusteta. Lapsed kellel on armastavad vanemad on tervemad.

Kas sa teadsid kui leidlikud on vanemad kes töötavad palju ja on ehk võtnud lapsele hoopis hoidja? Isa kes tööga seoses väga palju reisib on üles filminud unejutud, mida video vahendusel lapsele igal õhtul edastatakse. Või ema, kes igal hommikul tööle minnes teeb päeva video ja see edastatakse lapsele.

Parimaks vanemaks valiksin ma need, kes veedavad lapsega kvaliteet-aega, olgu sees siis tund päevas või ainult nädalavahetus.

Laps mäletab täiskasvanuna neid õnnelikke hetki, mida ta on saanud veeta oma vanematega.
Laps ei pea ajaarvestust, erinevalt sinu tööandjast kes ajab näpuga järge tehtud töötundide osas. Lapse kasvatamisel soovitan rõhku panna kvaliteedile mitte kvantiteedile.

Ja ikkagi jääb justkui õhku rippuma küsimus, kes siis lõpuks on see kõige kõige parem lapsevanem? Vastus on lihtne – see kes armastab oma last tingimusteta!

Mõnusat pühapäeva,
Kadi 🙂

Children and Presents: Why you should not overwhelm children with gifts.

Kodus.ee https://kodus.ee/artikkel/oluline-pohjus-miks-ei-tohi-lapsi-kinkidega-ule-kulvata

Hollywood’s star couple Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have decided to take a radical step and leave their children without presents this year. But why would they do so?
The actors have decided to stop with the gift-giving due to the previous Christmas, when their two children received way too many gifts from their grandparents. ‘Wyatt, who is 3 now, is not even happy with the gifts anymore, and no longer appreciates these. Not to mention having something he would wish for from the bottom of his heart’, spoke actress Mila Kunis in an interview.

Avoiding this gift-shower is also approved by scientists: researches have shown that children who receive a lot of presents grow up to have a more materialistic view on life and place emphasis on owning things. Being so dependent on materialistic things, they also show a bigger likeliness to get addicted to gambling, shopping and the like. Additionally different researches show that there is no correlation between receiving presents and the level of happiness – children who had less things but had a loving family grew up more confident and more able to deal with stress.

Scientists point of view is also supported by baby counsellor Kadi Leppik. ‘December is a festive month, which is very family-oriented and is supposed to be peaceful. For some reason this has grown out to be a month of chaos with Christmas craze that starts months ahead of time! From all over the world people start buying huge amounts of gifts and the more expensive, the better,’ she mentions. International research Christmas Barometer 2016 done during the holiday season by Ferratum Group shows that the biggest spenders during this time in Europe are the Germans, whose Christmas presents take up to 807 Euros. But Estonians are not much off as Christmas presents take up to 571 Euros. The biggest spending point goes to toys.

‘Over these past five years, I am very grateful for being able to witness that children actually do not need any kinds of presents. I am working with a family who has three children aged 7, 5 and 2,5 years, and they have been taught that Christmas is the time of giving. With this in mind we get crafty and make our own presents. We have picked up cones from a park which we decorate on our own, and we have also bake cookies which we give away as presents,’ says Kadi.

‘Additionally we do not have that thing called ‘elfing’, where the elves bring you sweets overnight into a stocking or a slipper. Everyone does have Christmas calendars though, but this is more of a family event where opening these ‘windows’ is being done with the family to see the pictures hidden underneath the chocolate. I’m afraid Christmas is slowly losing its actual essence, when it used to be a time to spend with your family, where everyone cooked a lot and where the grandmother of the family finished her knitting just before the Christmas Eve,’ Kadi continues.

To bring this situation to life, she tells a story from one of her busy days at work. ‘One of the kids that was visiting us was very surprised to see that the children did not have a new robotic toy that cost around 300 Euros. I then had to get involved and said that we had different games we played. Then the little one said that this year’s present is going to be even more amazing! I then asked from the children under my care what was the purpose of Christmas and I was so happy and grateful to hear when they said: Christmas is the time of giving and the time to spend with their grandparents,’ Kadi adds happily.
‘Children do not actually care for things unless they have been taught to do so,’ she finds.

Kadi’s advice for this year: make it into a goal to spend some quality time with the whole family! ‘Go ice-skating, to a theatre, to movies, make delicious meals, read Christmas stories, go volunteer at a homeless care-house, get crafty and make presents with your own hands.

Teach your children the real purpose of Christmas and do not buy any presents this year.
With this kind of action you can be sure that when you are a grandparent, you will not be sent a pair of socks in mail, but that your children will come to enjoy the real essence of Christmas with you,’ she finds.

Beebid ja porgandi allergia.

Üks suur mure hakkab lapsevanemate peas keerlema, kui juttu tuleb päris söögi andmisest ja sellega kaasnevast võimalikust toiduallergiast.
Olen palju lugenud raamatuid ja uurinud interneti avarustest toiduallergiate kohta ja kuidas see väljendub. Kuigi me oleme teadlikud enam levinud toiduallegia tekitajatest nagu piim, munad, maapähklid, kala jne. Viimastel kuudel on aga minu poole pöördunud paljud lapsevanemad, sest perearstide poolt on tunnistatud kõrge allergia tekitajana välja toodud üks köögivili, selleks on porgand.
Uurisin, mis seos on porgandil kui allergia tekitajal väikelaste hulgas.

Kellel on soodumus porgandi allergiaks?
Porgandi allergiaks peab olema geneetiline soodumus, kuid selleks peaks teadma, kas vanematel on seda allergiat olnud. Seega tasuks siinkohal võimalusel välja selgitada, millised on lapse ema ja isa allergiad erinevate toitude suhtes, kuid see ei tähenda, et lapsel peaks tingimata olema sama allergia mis on vähemalt ühel vanematest. Lisaks on leitud, et lapsed kellel on porgandi allergia on ka suurema tõenäosusega õietolmu allergia.
Teadlased on leidnud, et USA-s on väga harv nähtus porgandi allergia erinevalt euroopast kus seda on 25% elanikonnast.

Mis on peamised tunnused porgandi allergia korral?
Samad mis iga teise allergia korral nagu näiteks kõhulahtisus, oksendamine, kõhuvalu, gaasid, vesine nina jne.

Millal võib lapsele porgandit anda?
Kui lapsel on soodumus porgandi allergiaks, siis võiks oodata kuni seitsmenda elukuuni ja proovida siis porgandi püreed anda, toore porgandiga võiks oodata kuni kümnenda elukuuni.

Kes kuuluvad veel porgandi perekonda?
Kui lapsel on tuvastatud porgandi allergia, siis peaks tähelepanu pöörama ka teistele porgandiga samas perekonda kuuluvatele pastinaak, petersell, aniis, till, apteegitill, koriander ja petersell enne kui lisate menüüsse.

Pisike meelespea!
Pese- ja koori porgandid alati vahetult enne küpsetamist. Ära hoia alles jäänud püreed alles, või kui hoiad siis sügavkülmuta.

Mõnusat esmaspäeva,
Kadi 🙂

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