Kadi and Babies

Author: Kadi Leppik

  • Posting baby and toddler photos online

    (This article was originally published in December 2017 on Kadi ja Beebid Facebook page)

    Many months ago I started questioning how law protects children in terms of their photos being posted online. And I don’t mean professional family photoshoots or photos from their birthdays.

    I speak of the nude baby/children photos. Whether it’s taken on a beach, during a water fight at home, eating on their own while wearing nothing, or bathing photos. There are so many ill people in the world, why give them the satisfaction and give your own child’s photos for them to take advantage of?

    So I had a question – if someone else uses an adult’s photo on their social media, that could be identity theft, but what about children?

    I spoke to web constable Maarja Punak, who commented on the situation in Estonia: ‘Both parents have the right to use their child’s photo until the child becomes an adult by law. That is not identity theft. It would only be an identity theft if an account is made with the child’s name and the social media page holds a suspicious value. But it is not prohibited if it has been done with parents approval. However if an account with the child’s name and photos is made by a family relative, then that can be put forward as a case investigation.’

    I asked if there’s any law to protect the child in these cases, to which web constable Punak replied: ‘Child protection regulations state that parents must act based on what is best for the child’s well-being. Naked baby photos are not illegal, although the taste and ethics can be questioned.’

    Where runs the line between an ethical and an unethical photo? Should we perhaps keep some photos in our albums and not share these with the whole internet? What happens when the child becomes an adult, would they be proud of their parents and the posted naked baby photos?

    Here I would like to remind everyone to please take great consideration before posting photos of your child online.

  • Second baby on the way, what now?!

    Second baby on the way, what now?!

    Lots of families boast how wonderful everything has been with the first baby. Families also wish to have their children with a small age gap so they can grow and play together. So it’s definitely normal for people to ask about your plans for the second baby, and they’ll never forget to mention that it’ll be very hard if the gap is too big. I could keep listing comments like these, and it would be a never-ending list.

    Is it actually harder if the children have a bigger age gap?
    I’ve worked for a family whose children were 5 years apart and I really liked it, as I could discuss the worlds wonders and issues while the baby’s asleep. Also I think it’s very sweet to let the older sibling choose the clothes for the baby, as that helped the older child get used to the new situation and feel the importance of their spot in the family. It was also an assurance that their opinion counted and was heard! So you announce the expected second baby with great joy. Now you should be only happy as you have things left over (and still in a great condition) from the first child, and so there is not that many things you’d need to prepare. Also you’re much wiser and theoretically you should have a good level of confidence in your parenting skills. Don’t worry that you’ll need to go through everything again, as this time you’ll know when and who to ask for help, and how to use the people who offer their help.

    You believe that your friends and family are very excited about the new addition to the family? Well, they’ll definitely have an endless stream of questions to create some panic!

    Most frequent question/phrases:

    • Do you already have a nursery spot for the older child?
    • The baby will need the crib, have you prepared a bigger bed for the older child?
    • Most moms in your circle will see you as a client and will try to sell you their old things. Yes, sell, and not give!
    • It’s also very common along friends (especially the most helpful ones) who say you’ll definitely need a new pram, and guess what? Their own friend is just selling theirs, so definitely don’t go buying a new one! And so on.

    What should you keep in mind with the second child?

    • Jealousy can turn the harmonious family upside down and create unnecessary stress for the parent staying at home.
    • Don’t rush with taking the older child out of the crib, as sleeping in a crib doesn’t have an age limit. From my own experience I can say every child is different. You shouldn’t go for radical changes with the older child (the family I work for has a 2.5-year-old who happily sleeps in his own crib, as that makes him feel safe).
      It’ll be a big psychological change for the older child anyway. So, I’d actually recommend getting a new crib for the second baby (and yes, the family I work for has 2 cribs).

    Should I send the older child to nursery?

    • Why should the child be punished if they love staying at home with mom/dad and love playing in the park/playground. The usual story that the older child has to be sent away in order to spend time with the new baby is completely wrong and only instigates hatred, jealousy and ill feelings between the siblings. Did you know that psychologically the older child will feel the same as if you are with your partner and they bring in another partner, while at the same time repeating how much they love you? Would you believe him/her? No, definitely not. The same applies for your older child.
    • To ease any tension I recommend writing down all the things the older child can help with. For example, if you need a new diaper for the baby, then you can ask for help. Bathing both of them together can also be fun for everyone, but of course never leave them alone in the tub (which is very dangerous). During bathing time you can all play with water and bath toys.
    • When the baby is brought home for the first time, make a bigger sort of a gift for the older child. That way they will understand it’s not a bad idea at all to have a baby in the house.
    • Ask family and friends to bring a gift for the older child instead of the baby, or if they insist, then perhaps something for them both. Baby doesn’t care about things, but the older child does need support and appreciation.
    • Plan your day in a way that both children get at least 1 hour per day with each parent, where you do something or play a game that the older child likes. Whether it’s playing with lego, colouring/drawing or preparing dinner together.
    • If before the second baby, the activities included music lessons or play-dates with friends, then do not stop these with the arrival of a new baby. Rather try to make these happen and plan your time more.
    • In regards to a pram, you could think about getting a small bike or a kids scooter. You should also communicate to the toddler that the baby will go into the pram now and that they’ll become the big sister/brother. I would actually recommend a scooter as it’s lighter, takes less space, you can take it on a bus or tram, and is a lot easier to put in a car.

    I also wish to bring forth an example from a family who I currently work for. Some time ago the mom offered the older child to go to a gymnastics class together, and to leave the baby at home with me. Then surprisingly the toddler’s response was: ‘No, she comes with us and won’t stay home alone!’
    I always say that we can’t leave the baby at home and should take them along, and that we won’t cancel any play-dates because of the baby. And that the baby needs to get accustomed to our schedule.

  • Babies and clear noses!

    Did you know that only around their third or fourth month babies start breathing through their mouths? This means that before they only get oxygen through nasal breathing. But their nasal pathways are only a couple of millimetres wide and there’s not that much space for anything else. So how well a newborn can breathe will depend on the people around them.

    Most parents don’t know how to clear a baby’s nose, or are scared to hurt them. So I’d advise to seek help from a pharmacy or from a GP’s Office. Or if you happen to meet me, I’d be happy to help.

    Also, when choosing a saline nasal spray, it’s important to check for any age restrictions to make sure it’s safe to use on newborns.

    So how to clear a baby’s nose?
    Take the baby into an upright position, with their side against your stomach, and spray the saline solution into both nostrils. Wait a moment until the mucus/liquid starts coming out. Then take a nasal aspirator (one end goes into your mouth and the other end into the baby’s nostril) and you can suction the excess mucus out. I usually wait a couple minutes before going in with the nasal aspirator, as quite often the baby sneezes and everything comes out a lot easier. This procedure can also be done a couple times in a row if necessary.

    How often should I do it?
    At least twice a day. But if you hear a slurring sound when breathing (meaning air doesn’t move well through the nasal pathways), then even more often. After using the nasal aspirator, always make sure to wash both the aspirator and the spray’s nozzle (after each use I wash it off and throw everything into a steriliser alongside with bottles and dummies).

    I personally don’t recommend bulb syringes (if you remember the egg-shaped devices with a small long tip), as the pressure is harsh and can damage the inner tissue lining.

    I’d also recommend getting an air humidifier (into the bedroom), as baby’s nasal passages can get very dry. In most cases the humidity levels are not enough for the baby. If you wake up and your own nose feels dry from the inside, then that’s a first sign you should perhaps think about getting one.

    NB! If you start writing a list of things you need to prepare for the baby, then I’d definitely recommend adding a saline nasal spray, a nasal aspirator for babies and an air humidifier (unless you already have these in your list).

    And if your baby has problems eating and sleeping, then first check when and how you last cleared their little nose.

    Feel free to share this post with expecting mums and dads.

  • When can you go outside with your baby?

    When can you go outside with your baby?

    Oh the happiness and joy, you have just come home from the hospital and now you have a new anxiety because you want to go try the stroller. You’ve also dreamed of going for a walk with your girl-friends, but various institutions advise you to sit in the room during the first weeks of your baby’s life and, at best, only get fresh air from a crack in the window.

    The above is an outdated notion and just a myth, because it has not been scientifically established that being in the fresh air with a baby in any way harms the child’s health. If possible, you should avoid crowded events and concerts in the first months of the baby’s life, but a walk to the grocery store or the park is completely normal.

    If you go to the store/indoors with a baby/small child, make sure that the child does not overheat. Indoors, outerwear could be unzipped and the hat removed if necessary.

    Outside with the baby.

    If you have come home from the hospital and your health allows you to go for a walk, you can even go on the same day. (Of course, the exception here are children who have some health problem, and therefore it is not recommended to go outside.)

    The first walk could be 30-45 minutes close to home so that you can go home if necessary. (You may feel down sometimes and the baby may start crying from hunger).

    When you go outside with your baby, you should remember not to overdress or underdress the baby, in both cases the baby will let you know about it with its soft cry.

    If you go for a walk with your baby, please use a stroller, not a safety cradle. The latter looks tiny and cute, but only use the safety cradle in the car as safety equipment for which it is actually intended, because this way you avoid the baby being in an excessive forced position and reduce the possibility of colic.

  • My message to all parents!

    The new school-year has now begun and we all know getting back on track will take some time.

    This year there has been a lot of talk about bullying and about how to make children’s lives more interesting and fulfilled with different devices/screens.

    I actually wish to talk a little about how all those screens affect our children and our youth, and about who decides how much and when screens should be used at home.

    It is now widely known that usage of any devices with screens affect grades, ability to concentrate, relationships with family/friends, the length and quality of sleep, mental and physical wellbeing. The aforementioned list is actually much longer but these are the ones I would like to bring out today.

    What is screen-time, how to know if your family has problems with it and need it regulated?

    Screen-time is all the hours/minutes you spend on your smartphone, e-reader, tablet, watching tv or sitting behind a PC, alongside with different electronic games.

    Parents should be alerted if the child is continuously tired in the mornings, spends most of their time in their rooms with their door closed or in front of the tv; when they do not wish to attend any hobby circles, do not meet up with friends in person but prefer time with their virtual friends instead, does not wish to eat breakfast or dinner with their family and choice of food is snacks over warm home-cooked food. The child/youth will also get easily irritated when parents interrupt them when they’re on a device or just wish to talk to them.

    According to the British health system, it is recommended to limit screen-time depending on age.

    If your child is aged 0-2 (or even until 3 years), it is better not to allow any screen-time at all. It is scientifically proven that the child develops the best through immediate contact with an adult and direct communication is necessary.

    If your child is aged 2-5, it is recommended to give 1h screen-time per day.

    If they’re aged 5-18, then the screen-time allowance should be maximum 2 hours per day.

    Some parents may think that the above is impossible, as when the child gets older they will have to spend more time behind a PC for homework. Here I would like to mention that screen-time does not include the time spent on homework and we only speak of the leisure time when the child/teenager decides what they want to do.

    So that the child can be reached by the parents, a simple phone with actual buttons is good enough. Even if they have a smartphone with a touch screen, I advise not to connect it to the Internet – that way the child will not spend all their free time on the phone seeking entertainment. And also a good stylish watch would be a bonus step to stop a child reaching for the phone just to check the time.

    To strict the screen-time at home, I have some tips for you as well:

    1. Be an example. Place a box just next to the door so whoever enters the house (yes, even you!), they have to leave their phones in the box (as turned off or on silent). Researches in the US have shown that in general, children send 200 messages per day and most of these are sent when they are in their rooms, lights turned off, while parents think they are sleeping. And if the child needs it as an alarm clock, you can get them a real alarm clock fit for the purpose.
    2. Explain the reasons why you are implementing screen-time restrictions and what is the goal/result/positive outcome. For example, the child’s better mental and physical health (as they are not sitting in a bad position behind the screen, also there will be less aggressive emotions and passivity towards the surroundings).
    3. Two hours before bedtime it is recommended for everyone (no matter the age) to avoid watching any screens. What to do with those two hours? Play board games, read a book/magazine, make plans with your family for the weekend, colour or draw, craft something etc.
    4. If the child has a PC or a TV in their room, take these to the living room instead. This would ensure that the PC will be used for home-work mostly and in reality, TV does not belong to the bedroom anyway. Additionally you can place limitations on the PC to deny access to any social media pages and to games sites. This way you lessen the risk of the child becoming a victim of cyber bullying or to any other dangers through suspicious sites. Children can be very easily influenced so it’s best to be careful.

    How to start with all of this?
    Write out a plan, why you are doing it and how.

    Write out all the rules on a paper sheet and place it where everyone can see it.

    Do not give up even if your child starts to beg and whine, as rules are there to follow and this is a decision that will benefit everyone.

    Find different activities as to what to do with the whole family instead of sitting behind the screens.

    Be ready for some tantrums and unhappy behaviour for the first 1-2 weeks for implementing rules over the screen-time, and usually it is more difficult with boys. The good news is that if you do not give in, over time children stop wishing to use screens and start finding other fun activities to do. Your popularity will fall in the beginning but in the long run it will only have positive results.

    Limiting screen-time can also be used as a disciplinary measure, which means that if all the home-work is done and they are behaving well, then they can use their allowed screen-time, otherwise you can take it away but please do be careful with this.

    For example, your child is reading a book and you ask them to do something. If you get an answer that they only have a page or a chapter left and they will do it once finished, consider it as completely normal. This is not something that you should limit the screen-time for or take it away only because the child didn’t jump up and do the task you asked them to do. Please be flexible with this and decide depending on the situation.

    NB! The post can be shared but do not copy&paste!

    Have fun away from the screens!

  • Violent toddlers

    Does the following ring a bell? You are reading a book, playing on the floor or are eating something delicious and then suddenly your child grabs at your face, pulls at your hair, hits or even bites? Of course the first question would be why, how to deal with it, and then – is it something you’ve done wrong because why would otherwise your toddler act like this?

    I am just going through this phase with one of the little girls under my care. She pinches and scratches so hard that it sometimes even bleeds. Thanks to this I currently look like I have come back from a very prickly forest, all scratched up.

    Actually, all of the above is completely normal and is a part of the growing process. It depends on the child’s age but as soon as it begins, you have to explain that this is not how one should act and that this kind of behaviour will not make them happy. If this happens again, then you have to remain calm and explain it again, and so until your toddler stops with all the hitting, biting, pulling and scratching. If the toddler is old enough to understand your words but does not yet speak, then you can place them at the bottom of the stairs (only if it’s not always used), on a chair or in a corner. If you choose a chair or a corner, then the location has to be somewhere away from the everyday buzz so that the child can have some peace and quiet. And always make sure to use the same location.

    For these timeouts, never use their own bedroom or playroom, because the bedroom has to be the child’s fort where they feel good and safe, and not a place associated with negative emotions. And there would be no point to place them in their playroom as their thoughts will wander and they will forget the reason why they’re there. Under no circumstances can the child be placed in a dark bathroom or in any dark closed spaces as children are afraid of the dark and this may cause your child psychological trauma.

    How long should the timeout be – this depend on the age. For 1-year-olds it’s 1 minute, 4-year-olds 4 minutes. If the time’s up, go over to your child (make sure you’re on the same eye level) and explain why they have been removed from the game (make it short and clear). After explaining the situation it’s time for hugs and kisses, after which you both can continue the day in a cheerful way (do not be angry or snappy with the child).

    Also, do not leave the child in the timeout corner for longer than stated times. And if the child has a teddy bear, a favourite blankie or whatever special toy that they love, then let them bring it to their timeout space. This should never be taken away as punishment!

    If the toddler repeats this again, then go through the same procedure stated above and do not forget that you will need patience – do not raise your voice, pull at their hair, slap them or anything physical, and also do not make remarks like ‘Are you happy now? How many times do I have to put you in a corner?!’

    It is also no excuse for you to laugh off your toddler’s violent behaviour, thinking that they’re just a child. If you laugh it off, the toddler will consider this as acceptable and they will continue with the same behaviour even when they grow up.

    Let’s raise our children with love and care.

  • I advise to invest in little feet

    I advise to invest in little feet

    I am very passionate about shoes, and especially about shoes for children – this interest has grown especially over the past couple of years on my career path.

    A couple of weeks ago I went to buy new shoes for the little princess which inspired me to write a couple words on this topic.

    It is very important to remember that you need to get the shoes according to the current size of their feet. This means that you should not buy shoes that are a couple of numbers bigger to save money, or because you like a specific design that does not have the size you need. You also should not get smaller shoes.

    Q: What to keep in mind when choosing shoes?

    Remember: size, model, quality.

    Some children’s feet are quite high and then you should look for models meant for higher feet. I advise to stick to quality brands where the company does take this into consideration. Most children seem to be flat-footed but there are no reasons for worrying, as feet develop with time and it’s hard to tell anything when they are small. Now many say that flat feet are hereditary and this cannot be avoided, but actually this is not that bad and you can always make it easier or even avoid it in many cases. For this, you need to ensure that the shoes you get have a proper strong sole (not soft slippers), with support inside and around the heel. I am very well aware that everyone has different opinions on this and I respect these as well.

    Q: When should children start wearing shoes?

    This depends on the child as some run around as soon as they reach 8 months, and others when they are a year and half. My recommendation is that you should start thinking about shoes when the child starts propping themselves up. Of course with this I advise to seek advice from a doctor or orthopedic.

    But which shoes to select and what kind of shoes to get depends on the parent.

    Another note to keep in mind – if the children start propping themselves up and try to walk around on their toes, then this means that their bottom muscles are not strong enough, so their body weight falls on the chest area. How to understand that the bottom muscles are strong enough? If the child walks around and falls on their butt instead falling on their stomach, and they do not try to walk around on their toes, you know that their muscles are strong enough.

    Q: How to get the baby to have strong bottom muscles? Take a seat on the floor and place the child to stand between your feet. Hold their body (not arms) and let them stand up and sit down while the child’s feet are fixated between your legs and they cannot stand on their toes.

    I can tell from my own experience that I probably did not have strong muscles on my own as I was always on my stomach – even on a smooth asphalt road (even when I was attending school). My knees and hands were always scratched (still have scars to prove it!) and even though I knew to place a leaf of a hen plant on it, who knows how many pairs of stockings I ruined by falling on my knees!

    I can remember my first shoes were closed-toe shoes, light brown and probably made from leather. But I liked these a lot and probably used these until these could physically not be worn any longer. When I was young, no one really looked at whether shoes were too big or had become too small. But I’m afraid due to wearing smaller shoes my smallest toes are slightly deformed.

    My favourite children’s shoe brands are Jacadi and Dpam.

  • Who is Good Father and Good Mother!?!

    How recently we had Father’s Day and the topic was, of course, who and what qualities is the best father?! Does the best dad leave his job overseas and rush to change diapers? At the same time, there is also a question about the mother, is the best mother the one who breastfeeds, sits at home at least until the child is three years old and gives up socializing for the sake of the child? Probably on this topic I could write a book or even an episode of a series that would run on TV screens like Home and Away.

    Every parent should follow their instincts and not be disturbed by the norms developed in society and the finger-wagging/gossip of outsiders. After all, parents whose children have taken home the ability to empathize and care for others can enjoy the fruits of their labor and be proud, regardless of the parenting method and how much they have sacrificed themselves for the sake of the so-called “child’s well-being”.

    Personally, I think that you can be the best parent without sacrificing yourself. The best parents are those who love their child unconditionally. Children with loving parents are healthier.

    Did you know how resourceful parents are who work a lot and have perhaps hired a babysitter instead? The father, who travels a lot for work, has recorded bedtime stories, which are transmitted to the child every night via video. Or a mother who makes a video of the day every morning when she goes to work and it is transmitted to the child.

    I would choose the best parents who spend quality time with their child, whether it’s an hour a day or just the weekend.

    As an adult, the child remembers the happy moments he was able to spend with his parents.

    The child does not keep time records, unlike your employer who keeps track of the hours worked. When raising a child, I recommend putting emphasis on quality, not quantity.

    And still the question seems to hang in the air, who is the best parent in the end? The answer is simple – the one who loves they child unconditionally!

  • Can I work out and when can I do so?

    Can I work out and when can I do so?

    Pregnancy is life-changing for every woman, and to stay in a good physical form, you can try different workouts even now. If you have decided to start working out immediately after giving birth, then you should definitely consult a specialist. I have asked for some advice from a personal trainer and nutritionist Janika Koch-Mäe (www.sinutreener.ee) and here are the four most frequently asked questions I get.

    Can I work out during pregnancy? How much and what kind of exercises should I do?

    During pregnancy you can most certainly work out unless the doctor has stated otherwise. If you have been active before pregnancy and have been working out regularly, then you can continue doing so but keep the workouts lighter. This means, it would not be wise to add weights or increase intensity, but maintain the form you have reached. If the soon-to-be mom has not been working out regularly prior to pregnancy, then it is not wise to start with intense workouts or to pick up a new sport. Working out during pregnancy should not include jumping around, sudden movements or fast exercises for the core. Additionally it’s not recommended to keep the pulse over 140-150 beats per minute for a long time.

    Who to consult with if you wish to work out during pregnancy or after giving birth?

    I would advise to check this with your doctor or with your maternity nurse, and with your personal trainer.

    How much and what kind of workouts can I do after giving birth?

    If there have been no complications during giving birth, then you can start working out after around 1 month, vaginal muscles can be exercised immediately after giving birth. It is also a very good exercise to take your baby out for a walk. In regards to caesarean, you will need to wait at least 2 months. I would strongly recommend to consult with a doctor beforehand, as every person is different.

    Will working out lessen the amount of milk I produce? Or can it be a cause of no milk-production?

    Working out should not influence the production of breast milk. It is important to ensure that you get enough energy from nutritional food and to keep your meal times regular.

    Separately, Janika would like to stress on something specific: ‘Before you start training your stomach muscles on your own, I would advise to consult a personal trainer. Depending on the pregnancy, you can have diastasis recti (abs separation) and in this case it is not a good idea to do regular stomach exercises as these will only make this worse.’

  • Whether you are sushing your baby to sleep or once again find yourself giving them a bath at 10pm…

    Whether you are sushing your baby to sleep or once again find yourself giving them a bath at 10pm…

    I’m just going to dive straight into it.

    Babies should usually wake up around 7-8am and then it’s time for breakfast. For those who wish to start giving additional food, I would advise to look towards carrot puree (least likely to cause allergic reactions, but please do be careful if either of the parents have ever had an allergic reaction towards carrots).

    After breakfast it would be a good time for fun activities or for a nice walk outside.

    Lunch could be somewhere between 10:30 and 12pm, depending how long the child has been awake for and when they woke up in the morning.

    Lunch nap could be somewhere around noon and then 1-3 hours of sleep depending on the child.

    After the nap it’s time to eat something again. For children who eat solid foods, they could have something like an apple compote or some fruit.

    A smaller child would probably need a 30-minute beauty nap around 4pm again and after this it would be nice to go ahead with another walk outside.

    For babies, bath time ideally should be around 5.30pm and 6pm. Bathing of course does not mean a big washing up and you most certainly do not need any soaps or other chemicals. If the water is a little coarse, drop some breast milk into the bathing water which will neutralise the water and will make the baby’s skin soft. So that the baby would last the bathing session, you could breastfeed 5 minutes beforehand or give them 30ml milk solution.

    After the bath it would be time for dinner and for this keep the TV completely off or on very quiet. The lights should be dimmed. And at 7pm it’s time for sleep.

    Now here I usually get a lot of questions about the baby not falling asleep on their own, either they scream or start throwing tantrums. Then it’s time for a small blanket or a dummy. If you have a small special blanket, then the child will probably play with it for a while and then will fall asleep. If they do start screaming, you can pick them up and calm them down (do not turn on any bright lights), and place them back into the bed. It may take a couple of hours before the baby finally falls asleep (a good exercise for your arm muscles), and I would advise to have the dad to help with this. The best solution would be to leave this to the dad. If they do not want a dummy and you do not have a small special blanket, then I would really advise to get one. And you do not have to spend humongous amounts of money on this, just go to a fabric shop and ask for a softer fabric around 10x10cm (key tip: if you put the fabric against your face and it feels nice, then you can rest assured that the baby will like it as well). You can also be creative and make it into a specific shape like a triangle or anything that you like – why not keep it fun? Tip for those who breast feed – drop some breast milk on the blankie and your child will accept it faster.

    How to get the baby to sleep in their own cot/bed?
    Practice with lunch naps before and put the t-shirt you have worn during the day around the mattress. It will smell like you and is very comforting for the baby.

    What about the bedroom temperature?
    As the body temperature will rise when it’s cold, then I’m afraid it will not cool down in case the bedroom is too hot. This may be a reason why the baby keeps waking up. The temperature should be around +16 and +20 Celsius. You will sleep better as well in a cooler room so keep this in mind.

    What happens if the baby starts throwing tantrums after a couple of hours?
    If the baby does not wake up but keeps moving around, then you do not need to take them out of their bed or feed them. Let them be. Babies have the same sleep phases as adults do.

    If you now read this and were freaked out as your bathing time is around 9pm or 11pm and your baby gets to bed after midnight, then you can be sure that the baby is overtired and the day is too long for them.

    How to get the child into a schedule you wish?
    Definitely do not change everything overnight, start by shifting these every day by 5 or 10 minutes until you reach the time that suits you. If you have perfected the schedule, then it takes the baby up to 2 weeks to get used to this. You can also use this to move the nap times or feeding times.

    What to do when a child wakes up in the middle of the night?
    You do not have to do anything before they start screaming, as quite often they will fall asleep on their own. If you do wish to stop the night-time feeding, you should shift these times 5-15 minutes per day onwards or backwards.

    And what if they have additional food?
    Babies who have additional foods, the morning breakfast option could be a good porridge and either breastmilk or milk formula. For lunch I would advise a vegetable puree, and after the lunch nap maybe opt for something sweeter, like a fruit puree. For dinner vegetable puree once again. The best foods are prepared at home.

    How much food should I give?
    First get the baby accustomed to different tastes and textures by giving them half a teaspoon to try. If they would like more, trust your instincts and give a little bit more.

    How to understand if the baby is full from the puree?
    If the baby eats well, but at some point starts pushing the spoon away or turns their head away, then this is a sign that their stomach is full. Do not be surprised if at once they eat 200-300ml of puree.

    All of this at once can be a little overwhelming. So what to do when you are trying to sush the baby to sleep or try another trick from your tricks arsenal, but you are now exhausted and nothing helps? Then breathe in and out, and go back to basics. Read the top part again where I explained a little about how the best way would be to pick them up from their cot when they start screaming, comfort them until they calm down and then place them back in the cot.

    If you go out for a stroll with the buggy and the baby cries, then do not let it stop you from that walk as the baby will fall asleep within 5-10 minutes. Do not worry about what others think, as it is your child and you know it will pass.

    What to start with?
    Make yourself a plan what you wish to change in the beginning and take one step at a time. Keep in mind that it is not good to stress yourself with this either.

    I do always say that children are given to this world to teach us patience. And the second thing I say, like in one of the classical Estonian movies, is that if you can’t do the whole thing, do half of the exercise. If your daily schedule does shift up to 45 minutes, then this is completely alright.

    NB! Keeping in mind the baby’s safety, do not use a blanket which the baby can pull over his or her head, but use a sleeping bag instead, where the arms are free and body covered.

    All questions are more than welcome and I will answer these with pleasure.